Timeless Tales I: The Last Sunset

Writing poems and fiction had always been my first love.  It's been my indirect form of expression before I turned to blogging to scream my mind and heart out.  I had written a few stories and I meant it literally. I scribbled most of them while in a Physics class or in a middle of a "Balancing" exam in Chemistry.  Some stories had been woven in my mind while actually telling them out chapter by chapter to one of my friend, Maribel, in High School, one of my earliest fans.  At some point, I've shared some on Pinoyexchange years back and thanks to some who actually enjoyed them.

Now, I want to share one of my earliest compositions.  It's imperfect in a lot of ways but I'm still very proud of it, anyway.  I'm sharing this under a tag I will call Timeless Tales, from now on.  I hope to read some of yours if you have some to share.

This story is called "The Last Sunset".  

Missing you: Fresh White Musk by Body Fantasies

I am a plain Jane at her finest.  Though there may be times when I would pass by a store and admire pretty things I can invest on, my attention span for anything that spells F-A-S-H-I-O-N and B-E-A-U-T-Y is no longer than that of a 5-year-old to her pre-school teacher.  Yes. I am a walking, talking and writing bore when it comes to that subject.  However, except for books, foods and stuffs for my loved ones, I do spend for some specific things as well...you know...my not-so-extravagant-indulgences.

One of them is my personal favorite fragrance... Body Fantasies' Fresh White Musk.

It used to cost around Php450.  Looking at the bottle, someone would not expect so much of it.  But wait 'til you wear it....

This is how it's supposed to look now

I love the tender, airy, powder-like smell that I can wear on all occasions. I am always complimented and asked of what I'm wearing whenever I spray some on me. A little spray or two can already last up to the next morning.  It lasts really long.  For years, since a cousin introduced it to me in High School, I've never worn another fragrance but this.

I used to always buy them at most twice a month...that was before when they seemed to be everywhere.  It was not until I graduated college when I couldn't find them on the stores I've gone to.  I don't know where to  find them here in Cebu.

By writing it here, I wish other bloggers who'd know where I can find them can tell me because it's been years since I'm depriving myself of such indulgence.

Anyone? Please? I'm down on my knees now....

Dream Of Me

Have you ever missed someone so much you literally bite your pillow just so you can hold yourself from bawling out the pain. 

I did. 

I had been missing someone so bad that I feel like bleeding inside. Two days…it sounds too short of a period to be missing him already but it’s been the longest time since I heard his voice. 

I hope that I cross his mind, too. 

While I kept myself busy jumping from reading, writing, doing chores, staring at nothing…then silently weeping, with me was my ever-amazing music playlist who never failed to pull of a soundtrack to every drama I subject myself into. 

Here’s one that had put me to sleep after a weary day…and again, at the first note, He just took me away…. 

I wish to dream of him again tonight…and maybe, when he can find himself wanting to close his eyes, he can just follow me there and I’ll wait…. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

(To play and listen to the video, please press "STOP" on the default music player below )

credits to ilovesetomaru of Youtube

Watch in Youtube

Dream of Me 

Kirsten Dunst 

(From the Movie Get Over It) 

Let me sleep

For when I sleep 

I dream that you are here

You’re mine

And all my fears are left behind

I float on air

The nightingale sings gentle lullabys

So let me close my eyes

And sleep

Per chance to dream

So I can see the face I long to touch

To kiss

But only dreams can bring me this

So let the moon

Shine softly on the boy I long to see

And maybe when he dreams

He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds

And whisper to the evening stars

They tell me love is just a dream away

Dream away (echo 3x)

I’ll dream away

So let the moon

Shine softly on the boy I long to see

And maybe when he dreams

He’ll dream of me 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I will see you nin my dreams later, baby….

Moonlight Lullaby

I sing to the moon tonight

I sing my heart out to him

Of notes and verses I tell no one

Of secrets I shall keep to my grave

He listens to my songs, endlessly

Like age-old odes as ancient as him

He brings warmth as I look up

Drying up traces of dews along my cheeks

I will sing to him, ‘til melodies become lie

I’ll kiss all the pains to touch him, yet I can not

Soon he will be gone again, to the mountains he will hide

Back where I do not exist, and where he can hear my songs no more

But I sing to the moon tonight

And he will hum to me my lullaby

He will not let me live the day in pain

He will not leave me, not until I close my eyes and dream

He is singing to me now

‘Do not stop, please, stay,’ I whispered

Slowly I feel his warmth blanket me

Forever he will sing to me, he say….

Meet Lucky

 Meet LUCKY 

Help me welcome to our humble home this cute lil jumpy black and white ensemble, LUCKY! The excitement has been doubled for me and the rest of the family when I heard that Tatay and sisters will be coming home, at last, from a vacay in Iloilo and Guimaras and that they will be bringing someone else in the ‘pack’. To my delight, they were bringing another cute pup in the house…:D

The poor thing loves to sleep :D...reminds me so much of someone

Lucky hails from an island-baranggay of Unisan in Guimaras making him a true-blue “Karay-a”. He was given by a friend of my Tatay back in his hometown. Being a genuine dog-lover that my lil sister Mary Joy is, I can just imagine how ecstatic she might have become at the thought we’ll be having another pet at home. She spoils them rotten.




What makes me happier is that they named him after my boyfriend’s dog, also named Lucky…a female one, to be exact…and equally charming and deserving of the attention her Big Man gives her generously.

This is my boyfriend's Lucky < A She ;) >

Our Lucky arrived home (Cebu) at around 8:00 am today (November 7, 2011) and he charmed us all at first bark. He was jumping around and would suddenly do this “planking” thing, signaling that a sound sleep on the floor won’t be far behind. He’s really adorable. I just hope that soon, the rest of the pack, Squishy and Napoleon will be welcoming him, too. I know, a little jealousy can not be dismissed. They’ll get over it and will love him, too, in time.


Here are some pictures of our Lucky from island to island. <My sisters love him to bits>

My sister giving him a good beach bath :D

My Beautiful

My Beautiful


He is so beautiful, Incomparably mine
He is my four seasons of joy,
So delicate as the daisies,
So free as the eagle soaring



His gray eyes, so calm like my sea
All of him are very precious,
More precious than all gems this life knew
His soul is my sky and earth,
His body is my air
His smile is my constant laughter
His silence...my peace


Pain vibrates deep inside his gentle heart.
A lock shuts in the disturbed thoughts of his mind,
A mind with as many roads as the world has.
I look at him and I see a pure truth,
Like looking at a clear night sky,
Millions of stars twinkle within him.


He is beauty as I defined it,
He is perfect, his imperfections make him so.
He is my best friend, and I love him,
I love him although, not because.

And I would give up all the things which I think are pretty
If only I can hold his beauty within me,
For he is everything in this world,
And I have found a world in him.

There Was No Goodbye....

You would have been one the smartest Gomez from our clan.  No doubt about it.  Tatay and Nanay would always take pride of your unusually large Cerebrum.  In our conscious thoughts and even I as a 5-year-old, knew you were going places…farther than any of us ever can.  Indeed you had gone so far…and a little too early too, I guess.  You must have liked it there so much that you decided to stay longer.

Just before we could celebrate your 2^nd birthday, you went.

It could have been me.  It could have been your Kuya.  We were so ill, too, that time you know.  But He chose you to go.  You must be a very special one to deserve a room up there so early.  As sharp as my mind can go backwards, I am still in a haze when I reach that moment when I had touched you for the last time.  It was not until I was in college when I realized how you went.  It took me years to have the courage to ask Nanay how.  You were just seated on the sofa, though a bit sick, appeared upbeat and you just said “Tatay…” in your usual tiny and endearing voice, just before…just as you bowed down.

I’m sure I was not around that time.  I’m sure I didn’t know I lost someone when you left.  I was just surprised one day years after that I’ve been missing you too long and yet I don’t remember you saying goodbye. 

I was just a doting 5 year old Ate who still did not know anything about mortality.

All I remember is the crisp detail of me in a room just with you lying on the big bed.  I went up to you, trying to wake you up, murmured something…maybe I was telling you a secret about your Kuya…you know how he can be such a cry baby sometimes.  You were still so deep in your sleep I guess, so I left the bed to let you rest some more.

Then I heard the door opened wide with people rushing to you…some crying…some saying words I don’t understand.  And other people started crowding the compound.  That was the last time I saw you.

I think you knew how much I hate it when people leave.  You did not want Ate to be crying and spend her growing years with a loss in her heart.  It’s just that if I knew, maybe I was less puzzled at the sights of Nanay’s breakdowns she tried to hide all through those years.  I‘m sure your “makulit” Kuya had endlessly asked me, too, about you.  He missed you, too, you know.

But…as the smarter one that you are, you knew better than any of us.  And He, as He always do, let things unfold by itself in their own time.  You gave me 8 more little brothers and sisters to love and “torture with care” on.  You were already up there long before they were born but you are never loved less.  You have always been alive.

How is it right up there, little sister?  I’m sure, everything is just perfect.  Worry not about us here.  Your memories have been one of the stronger buoys; letting the better us go afloat against the tides.

I still miss you, you know.

I will see you one day, though.

Ate loves you….

Your Eyes

I’m staring at your eyes

Deeply, longingly, for a hundredth time now

Into those soft gray and rock blue marvel

I found my beach, in its peaceful lair

Your eyes…that glisten against the sea of your skin

They smile as your lips faintly curve at the happy thought

Those lips that I long to part with mine

As I yearn to lay my hands on your soft graying hair

Your eyes, like a pair of prism skies

Your eyes, they’re misty yet clear

They tell of stories, of yesterdays

Of age-old tales that I endlessly seek

They whisper of a lost love

Of pain, healing and forgiveness

Your eyes spell kindness

And filled my heart with some

I long to have those eyes

Stare back at me forever

Long for the love in those

And be all mine

I’m staring at them, now

For a thousand times and a million

I close my eyes, and there they are still

In your eyes, I dream…

In your eyes, I live…

10 Thank yous

I could have taken another road, more than twelve months ago.  I would have taken a cab straight towards a sighted distance or made a U-turn back to a still freshly wounded past.  Instead, I slowed down, hit the brake, pulled-over and sat on a sidewalk.  From there, I was able to breathe the wind that was just merely touching my face as I journeyed.  And while there, I felt the grass, so organic and real against my palm, feeling them held mine back, while the earth halted for a while.  And that moment became the most defining seconds that had me and took me here and now.  I saw you, along with the simplest joys the world can offer that I may have failed to see, had I not stopped.

“You seem to be a very good person,” I said.

Then you opened the door to your world and I saw a piece of heaven.

You gave me my heaven here on earth, every single day since then.

I could have taken another road.  Yes, I could really have…

…but did not.

 And came the birth of a beautiful friendship and love transcending time, distance, heartaches and uncertainties.

Twelve months ago…there was YOU and ME…

Twelve months ago, something ended.

Twelve months ago, forever began….

TEN….

It was around this day, a year ago, when your letters and IMs began flooding my inbox and thoughts throughout.  With a still wounded heart beating for someone else, I was half-hoping that you’ll always be part of me.  I was praying you’d never leave, even after I heal.

And you never did leave, not one second.  I had all my reasons to doubt and retreat.  I was very weak.  You, who had been through it all…all that even my worst nightmares pale in comparison, shone in strength and faith.  I made us happen.  You made us real and unbreakable.

And just before we seal the wonderful first year together, I want to thank you for all that has been and everything that will be…together.

Thank you…

……….for your honesty that’s rare from some people these days.  You are still the same man I knew from the first day.  Not once did you sashay on words nor expressions to win me.  You showed how imperfect you are that just made me perfectly love you more and more.

……..for the generous efforts to connect us together, in spite of cruel realities of life that keep us apart.  You always make me feel like you’re just an arm’s reach near and blew away my fears. 

…….for reading all that I wrote, the good ones and the boring stuffs, which gave more meaning to my love for writing.  Indeed, you’re my biggest fan that I am most scared to lose.  I know, words had been a lil scarce these days but it never meant my heart stopped scribbling.  It never did.  In fact, it made volumes of words that only spelled of your Name and the Love for you.

……for showing me more the beauty of the mountains, showing me another color of winter, for making me fall in love over again with Autumn and making every day like summer…and painting my world with the blooms of spring.  You are simply my constant in this ever changing world.

…..for not giving in to my tantrums and constantly being gentle with me all through my sometimes fickle moods.  You never got mad at me even you already had all the reasons to.  When I got jealous, you just hugged me and brushed them all away.  You tell me straight when I am wrong, yet never left ‘til I find my way to what’s right.  When I felt hopeless, you became exactly the opposite.  Who else can ever put up with me like you do?

….for the wisdom you have shared about life, faith, God, family, friendship, commitment and love.  Again, you’ve been the best book I’ve ever read.  I found my kindred soul in you…you made me confirm my convictions on all things and even found beauty in the differences we share.

…for the “I love yous” we endlessly say.  I used to wonder if you’ll ever be expressive as I pray you’d at least try.  The moment I stopped hoping, I got more than what any girl can wish for.  You’re the sweetest man to have ever walked my life.

..for the simple dreams we’ve molded together.  They’re nothing fancy, I know.  But they are ours.  Sooner or later, we can make them happen.  We both had our dreams broken before.  Somehow, you managed to pick up some those that mattered…and I had some with me…now, from those broken pieces we’re building them again, slowly, with nothing but faith, hope and love….

.for the pasts, painful as they were, that you and I separately lived so I can lose my way to find you.   I was not your first, and you weren’t mine, as well.  And we both loved them with all that we had.  With me, I thought it was death when it ended.  But like any miracle, you brought me back to life.  A life where I can only love more and more.  Thank you for all that are yet to happen.

Still counting the days till I can surrender to my own guilty pleasures of celebrating a rather not-so-significant day (not to me)…while my thoughts are fixated on those gray eyes of yours.  I have stopped hoping to see the day when I can miss you and not cry anymore.  But as these tears are shed, one mile is folded.  Until there is no more air between us, I’ll cling on to our little world where we know no distance and time…and close my eyes with a still beating heart.

LOVE knows no age....

credits to the owner

In my own little corner at home, I silently watched thru my new set of eyes, thanks to Executive Optical (and I do hope I can slowly get over how much you’ve cost me...: O), my little brother and his girlfriend chatting to each other in front of the T.V. set with glittery eyes as if I was watching a Disney flick about fairy tales and young loves…. Hazy…! So much for my self-proclaimed theory that my age stopped at 17.  That’s always been my magic number---rather my desperate attempt to eternal youth….*sigh*

No matter how tickled-pink I become at the sight of this blossoming puppy-love, it’s sort of a mockingly sad reality bite that I’m way past THAT bracket! Anyways, I still am a proud sister seeing my brother gentlemanly treat the young girl with respect and honor as he fetched her from school, brought her to our home to meet some members of the family and act their age.  We can not blame nor stop the kids these days if they are exposed earlier to attraction and eventually “falling” into the stages of deeper feelings towards someone because it’s not their choice to be in this generation. But the least that we, as their loved ones, can do is to make them see for themselves that they have all the time in the world to discover thru little steps the wonders of loving…and that it is not in haste that they can see the beauty of everyday.

I myself was pretty exposed to the many faces of love at a very young age but that fact never helped in getting me in a relationship early and experience it first-hand.  My ideals on love have all been based on real stories shared to me and by the wonders of what reading has taught me.  However, no matter how early or late we experience it, it’s the affirmation of that “word” and its genuine significance to each other must be the wind the pushes our choices…choices that make us vow and vows that ‘will’ us to ‘do’.

Sure…nothing is certain…except the PAST. But it is with these pasts we have that we can learn and unlearn.  When we fall in love and own it, whoever we are and how powerful we may be, we wish them to be forever and then we become strong and scared at the same time and it always takes two to make it work through the fears and instability.

My little brother…who I used to just carry around a few years back and whose chubby cheeks I couldn’t stop from kissing…is slowly taking his plunge into a world where it is less than about him.  I can only hope that if he is to have his share of pains, as I had, they will be all worth it.  And when that certain single moment that ultimately spells completeness…he will embrace it and never let it go…that moment when you know and  realize that all your life behind you, no matter how long or short it was, just prepared you for that ‘day’ and the days beyond it.

Of Musty Smells and Starchy Feel of Books

After a few years of not getting my hands on any hard-bound treasures or paperback marvels, I felt like my innermost me found a way to subtly move my feet towards a familiar, cozy shack of pre-loved books called “BOOKSALE”, right in the middle of trying to get some stuffs for my most-anticipated ‘mango floats’ and some unbudgeted office supplies.  I remember having just passed by the place a few times with a yearning look for a not so distant memory of me, my nook and a few of my cherished books that I would always find time to read again and again.

In between those years, I remember stealing a few moments from my oh-so precious time to write a couple of loud thoughts, daydreams put into words and sitting by for a few minutes scanning through the web for some worthy reads…but I knew I still missed something.  It’s that certain singular completeness I owned, even for just a few minutes, out from the pleasant musty smell of the clumped papers, from ogling through the orchestra of words from page to page and with the uncanny yet perfect way the images in my mind weave themselves into a movie that no one can ever see but me.

Cheesy as it may sound, I felt a tinge of pain behind eyes and felt them lightly dampen as I touched the first book I could reach when I entered the store.  It’s like seeing a long lost friend, you know and remember all the feelings, yet you can’t start to say a word.  Letting go of the rest of the other stuffs in my hands, thanks to my sisters who never got tired of following my to-the-unknown trails, I picked up all the titles that ‘picked’ me.  Forgetting the world for a while, I became one with the books feeling their weight as some of them would lean on me.  I was almost getting into my cliff dive when reality bit me---as I felt my sister poked me to buy this book for her.  I felt blessed to see them start to appreciate the wonders of reading.

I bought seven books…all for around Php400, which was a good deal for me.  I had spent more for less when I didn’t have my own income so many years ago.

These are the titles that I intend to finish by the end of August…hopefully and share my thoughts of with everyone….

Like A Mighty Stream: The March on Washington

By Patrick Henry Bass

An acclaimed journalist and author weaves eyewitness accounts, photos, reporting, and observation into a stirring and memorable mosaic of one of the most defining moments of the Civil Rights Movement.

The Last Canyon

John Vernon

The Last Canyon tells the story of John Wesley Powell’s 1869 voyage of exploration through the Grand Canyon, the last great expedition of discovery in United States history.  John Vernon intertwines two stories that of Powell and his crew, and that of a band of Paiute Indians, known as the Shivwits and Powell’s adventure is a story of triumph, hardship, bravery, and ultimate loss.

The Pilot’s Wife

By Anita Shreve

A Pilot’s wife is taught to be prepared for the “late-night knock at the door” but who can ever be prepared for a life-altering event that can unweave the past and makes you question “How well can we ever really know another person”?

Waiting for Nick & Considering Kate

By Nora Roberts

A two-in-one book on the Stanislaskis SAGA by the ever endearing bestselling author Nora Roberts.  I’m pretty sure my friends would conclude on why I picked the first title.

Now you see her

By Whitney Otto

A story of how a single forty-year-old woman battles through the sad observations of a period when women her age and status feel so alone the most.  I don’t really know why my 20 YO sister poked me to buy this for her---except for the fact that the author’s her namesake

Pieces of the Heart

By Karen White

A moving and poignant story about relationships--parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends set in the North Carolina Mountains…. I just can never get enough of North Carolina settings….

Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Barbara Jean Hicks

An endearing and feel-good, with a little tear here and there, story on painful pasts and second chances. I am actually excited for this one though I aim to not set my expectations too high on anything.

Now, I have more reasons to break away from my home-office-home routine and a way not to cry rivers out of missing someone.  The titles are not too popular, at least not anymore but I am most determined to journey into their pages.  I have started with one and am halfway to finishing it.  It did tug some in me and couldn’t be more excited to see what’s beyond the page I am in now.  Why don’t you grab one from your shelves now? You never know what treasures you may find in there.

Dancing - Elisa Mp3
Mp3-Codes.com

SCRIBBLES 07.10.11

I heard you were asking about me again. I don't know what happened or what came through your mind to have thought of me all of a sudden.  It's never the same, I think, and the days seem to do the work for us.  Before, you would always find a way to get to me. Now, you just can't anymore.

You may wonder endlessly how I'm doing now and perhaps there will be no way you can have your answers. I hope that somehow you get the message that it just ended coz you chose it and I just eventually let go when I realized you were not coming back. Though I took all the blows, I have nothing but sweet memories of you. Somethings, no matter how beautiful it was, have to not work...so the destined one can. I am better now... Forgiveness and letting go of the hurt got the better of me.  It is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed....

A Note to Someone

For the last couple of hours, I was just trying too hard beating all of my highest scores in Bejeweled, hoping that somehow, I’ll tire my eyes to sleep or at least stop some tears from falling.  To my dismay, nothing worked and each breathe I slowly took, would just make my innermost cells twinge knowing I can’t be without you.  Yes, I became one with you…a long time ago…those eight months were like eons for us.

Somehow, just as when daydreaming gets the better of me, I can hear some symphony of bangs and clangs in the background.  There you are, working so hard to rebuild that dream you thought you lost.  Oh well, it will never be lost, especially not by someone so loved as you.

I can never thank your mom and dad for letting you exist.  Exist in a time when I can still possibly find you.  I always knew that there will come a day when June becomes more than just my month.  More than anything, it’s your month.  June 22---the day the man whom God has destined me for was brought to this world.  Seemingly insignificant?  It will never be, for me.  In fact, it may become the most special one now and for all the days to come.

You remember those reasons why I loved you?  Every single day from that moment I counted the WHY’s, I slowly came to realize how selfish I was to see only those.  Who am I not to see them, above all, feel them from you?  And then I asked myself…will I still love you if you become not a single one of those?  Will I still stay even when love itself seems to not be there anymore?

Having known you, from a stranger to becoming my other half, I have learned so much.  I have learned not to just love what is only lovable but also those that embattle.  Loving you deepened my understanding on what real commitment is.  That True Love is loving and beyond.  Loving around how God would like His people to love each other---unconditional.  No.  There is no such thing as Conditional or Unconditional Love…for LOVE itself is an UNCONDITIONAL value that transcends whatever earthly and human circumstance.  It is not on how we ‘fall in love’ that we can see its being unconditional and measure its depth.  We can fall into loving in so many ways.  It is with how tightly we hold on to the promise of not letting go amid all the pushes and pulls of uncertainties that we can show True Love.  It is Love when you simply STAY when all the reasons not to is in front of you.  With you, I realized that there is no depth deep enough if you just let yourself swim beneath your own trenches of emotions and no simple gestures too shallow for a heart that sincerely gives in to love and to the person she found that love in.  I can still feel fear but you made them inevitable but bearable.

I love you Dustin.

Sometimes, it’s enough to just know that I do.

On your day, I pour some of my pixie dusts on you.  These are special dusts though…ones which give you a lifetime of happy thoughts.  You are a beautiful soul and an amazing man.  Your character makes you shine for me…inspiring me to become a lot better person.  You are lucky to have an amazing family whom you’ve adored but keeping them close to you for years is not just by sheer luck.  It takes a REAL man to make them happen.  It took someone like you to make me whole again.  Now it’s my time to give all that I have to care for you.

I love you Dustin…

It feels so good saying that over and over again.

Happy Birthday to you my Baby.  I’ll be holding you tight now…if only I could.

I Lived A Lifetime of Dream Today

Same old scars bled again.  How could a person, who used to give you joy, can suddenly become a nightmare?  No…, feelings are not the same anymore.  I am not hurt because I still love him… coz I don’t…at least not anymore.  He came. I loved. He promised. I waited. He said sorry.  I forgave. He promised again. I waited longer. He accused. I proved him wrong. He left. I begged. He cursed. I cried. I begged again. He cursed some more. I still loved. He never looked back. I died.

And in an instant, I remembered how alive I still am right now.  It was not long after I died that I came back to life.  Wearing his own wounds, another man came and breathes into me his own.  Now, we see the world from a single view. Our souls are one.  Although, I still can feel the lingering pains of a past, not so far behind, I live for the NOW that we share together; in the midst of distance and time.  At the very thought, I wipe away the tears and lie down.  Where can you be right now?  I need you so much.  I wish I could talk to the moon again, like I used to, when the one I need is nowhere near.  Trying to remember his voice and picture him in his usual sleepy mode, I felt my own eyes narrowed until the world, as I see it, was gone into the emptiness.

And there you are….