Sunday, October 9, 2011

10 Thank yous


I could have taken another road, more than twelve months ago.  I would have taken a cab straight towards a sighted distance or made a U-turn back to a still freshly wounded past.  Instead, I slowed down, hit the brake, pulled-over and sat on a sidewalk.  From there, I was able to breathe the wind that was just merely touching my face as I journeyed.  And while there, I felt the grass, so organic and real against my palm, feeling them held mine back, while the earth halted for a while.  And that moment became the most defining seconds that had me and took me here and now.  I saw you, along with the simplest joys the world can offer that I may have failed to see, had I not stopped.

“You seem to be a very good person,” I said.

Then you opened the door to your world and I saw a piece of heaven.

You gave me my heaven here on earth, every single day since then.

I could have taken another road.  Yes, I could really have…

…but did not.

 And came the birth of a beautiful friendship and love transcending time, distance, heartaches and uncertainties.

Twelve months ago…there was YOU and ME…

Twelve months ago, something ended.

Twelve months ago, forever began….

TEN….

It was around this day, a year ago, when your letters and IMs began flooding my inbox and thoughts throughout.  With a still wounded heart beating for someone else, I was half-hoping that you’ll always be part of me.  I was praying you’d never leave, even after I heal.
And you never did leave, not one second.  I had all my reasons to doubt and retreat.  I was very weak.  You, who had been through it all…all that even my worst nightmares pale in comparison, shone in strength and faith.  I made us happen.  You made us real and unbreakable.
And just before we seal the wonderful first year together, I want to thank you for all that has been and everything that will be…together.

Thank you…

……….for your honesty that’s rare from some people these days.  You are still the same man I knew from the first day.  Not once did you sashay on words nor expressions to win me.  You showed how imperfect you are that just made me perfectly love you more and more.

……..for the generous efforts to connect us together, in spite of cruel realities of life that keep us apart.  You always make me feel like you’re just an arm’s reach near and blew away my fears. 

…….for reading all that I wrote, the good ones and the boring stuffs, which gave more meaning to my love for writing.  Indeed, you’re my biggest fan that I am most scared to lose.  I know, words had been a lil scarce these days but it never meant my heart stopped scribbling.  It never did.  In fact, it made volumes of words that only spelled of your Name and the Love for you.

……for showing me more the beauty of the mountains, showing me another color of winter, for making me fall in love over again with Autumn and making every day like summer…and painting my world with the blooms of spring.  You are simply my constant in this ever changing world.

…..for not giving in to my tantrums and constantly being gentle with me all through my sometimes fickle moods.  You never got mad at me even you already had all the reasons to.  When I got jealous, you just hugged me and brushed them all away.  You tell me straight when I am wrong, yet never left ‘til I find my way to what’s right.  When I felt hopeless, you became exactly the opposite.  Who else can ever put up with me like you do?

….for the wisdom you have shared about life, faith, God, family, friendship, commitment and love.  Again, you’ve been the best book I’ve ever read.  I found my kindred soul in you…you made me confirm my convictions on all things and even found beauty in the differences we share.

…for the “I love yous” we endlessly say.  I used to wonder if you’ll ever be expressive as I pray you’d at least try.  The moment I stopped hoping, I got more than what any girl can wish for.  You’re the sweetest man to have ever walked my life.

..for the simple dreams we’ve molded together.  They’re nothing fancy, I know.  But they are ours.  Sooner or later, we can make them happen.  We both had our dreams broken before.  Somehow, you managed to pick up some those that mattered…and I had some with me…now, from those broken pieces we’re building them again, slowly, with nothing but faith, hope and love….

.for the pasts, painful as they were, that you and I separately lived so I can lose my way to find you.   I was not your first, and you weren’t mine, as well.  And we both loved them with all that we had.  With me, I thought it was death when it ended.  But like any miracle, you brought me back to life.  A life where I can only love more and more.  Thank you for all that are yet to happen.

Still counting the days till I can surrender to my own guilty pleasures of celebrating a rather not-so-significant day (not to me)…while my thoughts are fixated on those gray eyes of yours.  I have stopped hoping to see the day when I can miss you and not cry anymore.  But as these tears are shed, one mile is folded.  Until there is no more air between us, I’ll cling on to our little world where we know no distance and time…and close my eyes with a still beating heart.

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