Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dream Of Me

Have you ever missed someone so much you literally bite your pillow just so you can hold yourself from bawling out the pain. 

I did. 

I had been missing someone so bad that I feel like bleeding inside. Two days…it sounds too short of a period to be missing him already but it’s been the longest time since I heard his voice. 

I hope that I cross his mind, too. 

While I kept myself busy jumping from reading, writing, doing chores, staring at nothing…then silently weeping, with me was my ever-amazing music playlist who never failed to pull of a soundtrack to every drama I subject myself into. 

Here’s one that had put me to sleep after a weary day…and again, at the first note, He just took me away…. 

I wish to dream of him again tonight…and maybe, when he can find himself wanting to close his eyes, he can just follow me there and I’ll wait…. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

(To play and listen to the video, please press "STOP" on the default music player below )
credits to ilovesetomaru of Youtube

Dream of Me 
Kirsten Dunst 
(From the Movie Get Over It) 

Let me sleep
For when I sleep 
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away (echo 3x)
I’ll dream away

So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I will see you nin my dreams later, baby….

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Moonlight Lullaby

I sing to the moon tonight
I sing my heart out to him
Of notes and verses I tell no one
Of secrets I shall keep to my grave

He listens to my songs, endlessly
Like age-old odes as ancient as him
He brings warmth as I look up
Drying up traces of dews along my cheeks

I will sing to him, ‘til melodies become lie
I’ll kiss all the pains to touch him, yet I can not
Soon he will be gone again, to the mountains he will hide
Back where I do not exist, and where he can hear my songs no more

But I sing to the moon tonight
And he will hum to me my lullaby
He will not let me live the day in pain
He will not leave me, not until I close my eyes and dream

He is singing to me now
‘Do not stop, please, stay,’ I whispered
Slowly I feel his warmth blanket me
Forever he will sing to me, he say….

Monday, November 7, 2011

Meet Lucky

 Meet LUCKY 

Help me welcome to our humble home this cute lil jumpy black and white ensemble, LUCKY! The excitement has been doubled for me and the rest of the family when I heard that Tatay and sisters will be coming home, at last, from a vacay in Iloilo and Guimaras and that they will be bringing someone else in the ‘pack’. To my delight, they were bringing another cute pup in the house…:D

The poor thing loves to sleep :D...reminds me so much of someone

Lucky hails from an island-baranggay of Unisan in Guimaras making him a true-blue “Karay-a”. He was given by a friend of my Tatay back in his hometown. Being a genuine dog-lover that my lil sister Mary Joy is, I can just imagine how ecstatic she might have become at the thought we’ll be having another pet at home. She spoils them rotten.

What makes me happier is that they named him after my boyfriend’s dog, also named Lucky…a female one, to be exact…and equally charming and deserving of the attention her Big Man gives her generously.
This is my boyfriend's Lucky < A She ;) >

Our Lucky arrived home (Cebu) at around 8:00 am today (November 7, 2011) and he charmed us all at first bark. He was jumping around and would suddenly do this “planking” thing, signaling that a sound sleep on the floor won’t be far behind. He’s really adorable. I just hope that soon, the rest of the pack, Squishy and Napoleon will be welcoming him, too. I know, a little jealousy can not be dismissed. They’ll get over it and will love him, too, in time.

Here are some pictures of our Lucky from island to island. <My sisters love him to bits>
My sister giving him a good beach bath :D

Sunday, November 6, 2011

My Beautiful

My Beautiful

He is so beautiful, Incomparably mine
He is my four seasons of joy,
So delicate as the daisies,
So free as the eagle soaring

His gray eyes, so calm like my sea
All of him are very precious,
More precious than all gems this life knew
His soul is my sky and earth,
His body is my air
His smile is my constant laughter
His peace

Pain vibrates deep inside his gentle heart.
A lock shuts in the disturbed thoughts of his mind,
A mind with as many roads as the world has.
I look at him and I see a pure truth,
Like looking at a clear night sky,
Millions of stars twinkle within him.

He is beauty as I defined it,
He is perfect, his imperfections make him so.
He is my best friend, and I love him,
I love him although, not because.

And I would give up all the things which I think are pretty
If only I can hold his beauty within me,
For he is everything in this world,
And I have found a world in him.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

There Was No Goodbye....

You would have been one the smartest Gomez from our clan.  No doubt about it.  Tatay and Nanay would always take pride of your unusually large Cerebrum.  In our conscious thoughts and even I as a 5-year-old, knew you were going places…farther than any of us ever can.  Indeed you had gone so far…and a little too early too, I guess.  You must have liked it there so much that you decided to stay longer.

Just before we could celebrate your 2nd birthday, you went.

It could have been me.  It could have been your Kuya.  We were so ill, too, that time you know.  But He chose you to go.  You must be a very special one to deserve a room up there so early.  As sharp as my mind can go backwards, I am still in a haze when I reach that moment when I had touched you for the last time.  It was not until I was in college when I realized how you went.  It took me years to have the courage to ask Nanay how.  You were just seated on the sofa, though a bit sick, appeared upbeat and you just said “Tatay…” in your usual tiny and endearing voice, just before…just as you bowed down.

I’m sure I was not around that time.  I’m sure I didn’t know I lost someone when you left.  I was just surprised one day years after that I’ve been missing you too long and yet I don’t remember you saying goodbye. 

I was just a doting 5 year old Ate who still did not know anything about mortality.

All I remember is the crisp detail of me in a room just with you lying on the big bed.  I went up to you, trying to wake you up, murmured something…maybe I was telling you a secret about your Kuya…you know how he can be such a cry baby sometimes.  You were still so deep in your sleep I guess, so I left the bed to let you rest some more.

Then I heard the door opened wide with people rushing to you…some crying…some saying words I don’t understand.  And other people started crowding the compound.  That was the last time I saw you.

I think you knew how much I hate it when people leave.  You did not want Ate to be crying and spend her growing years with a loss in her heart.  It’s just that if I knew, maybe I was less puzzled at the sights of Nanay’s breakdowns she tried to hide all through those years.  I‘m sure your “makulit” Kuya had endlessly asked me, too, about you.  He missed you, too, you know.

But…as the smarter one that you are, you knew better than any of us.  And He, as He always do, let things unfold by itself in their own time.  You gave me 8 more little brothers and sisters to love and “torture with care” on.  You were already up there long before they were born but you are never loved less.  You have always been alive.

How is it right up there, little sister?  I’m sure, everything is just perfect.  Worry not about us here.  Your memories have been one of the stronger buoys; letting the better us go afloat against the tides.

I still miss you, you know.

I will see you one day, though.

Ate loves you….