A Letter from Ate

A Letter from Ate

Dear Phoebe,


Not so long ago, when you were still donning your cute lil tee-and-short-uniform at kindergarten, when I can't fetch you up, I used to still wait for you at our "tindahan" after your class so I could take you to Sugarloaf and buy you foods you like.  Ugh!  The stuffs I do for affection.  I know...I can be that desperate. But you were our cutest little bunso who could give "Tweety" a run for her money...and you were the last remaining proof that I was still an "Ate", for you were the only little sib of mine that I can freely carry, hug and kiss in front of people.  Your other Ates and Kuyas were "too old" for those...or so they said.

You are a young lady now.  I can't believe how time flies so quickly.  One day, I was just cradling you when Nanay was too tired after a day's work.  Other days, after some years have gone, I had fun playing dead just to make you cry...to my amusement (so bad of me) or whenever I would scare you about having sharks below our couch so I could make you cling unto me.  I could still remember how your smile would reach up to your ears when you see me outside your classroom to fetch you 'coz you know that you will be having your favorite Jollibee Kiddie Meal and your new toy again.  I didn't care if I would spend all of what I got from my allowance.  I was just a selfish Ate who wanted her kid sisters and brothers to stay...well, my little sisters and brothers always.

I could not be happier to have seen you grow up enjoying and experiencing all that a kid should be.  You may have not gotten all the pretty little things that most girls dream of and eventually have had, but you surely did have the life and love most of them can only pray for.  Each of us, from Tatay and Nanay to all the rest of your Kuyas and Ates, has a reason for being proud.  You are just halfway towards teenage life yet you've already gained my admiration and trust that you are on the right path---your path, guided by faith and love. 
When you were younger, I kind of feared you might become a lil bit of a handful.  Remembering all the funny and crazy memories of the "maldita" little Phoebe, who would've thought she'd be this quiet, soft-spoken, sweet, gentle-at-times-clumsy, humble and level-headed young lass and who never, ever answered back when reprimanded.  Sorry for those times I may had been hard on you and the others, for understanding me and forgiving my lapses as a big sister.

Now that you are on your way to one of the most exciting phase of your life, I have this odd mix of excitement, nostalgia and hope.  I am happy for you to have been accepted by the school of your choice and desire...which is the same school I went to.  I don't have the luxury of pride from my own teenage years to be able to share a wisdom or two; as I felt that I could have been a better girl growing up like I know you will surely do.  Yet, all I can assure you is that I will always be right beside, behind or in front of you, however you will need me to be.  That I know I can keep even if I am already in a point where any day from now, I may not be as close as I had always been.


Go, grow and glow...Phoebe.  Yes.  As funny as it sounded, you are meant to do and be so.  You are a beautiful individual.  Don't prove it...live it!  The years before you now is vast, but don't waste each step...experience it...make moments that last a lifetime.  Now, I can see you sleeping, still in between Nanay and Tatay, something I doubt will change any sooner.  Dream of your own garden, to take care of and where you can still play in...for you still are girl, budding into a same new you, every single day.